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It Contains and Encourages Discussions of
Highly Structured Adult Relationships.
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in the Pursuit of Education and Knowledge About
Diverse Relationship Structures.
HOUSEHOLD
OF SIR STEPHEN – WORKSHOP TOPICS
Acts of Contrition
A Workshop
for Dominants and Masters Only
Presented by Sir Stephen
We frequently
discuss the steps by which slaves can be offered correction. Typically, we speak in terms of correction,
discipline, punishment and atonement as the means by which an error or failure
of some sort can be repaired and the slave can achieve closure.
The Master
administers these steps as he or she deems best.
But, what
happens when the Master makes a mistake...a serious error that could potentially
jeopardize his or her position as Master in the eyes of his slave...or the
community...or within his or her own eyes? By what process can the Master achieve forgiveness
and closure? To whom can the Master
turn to receive the kinds of forgiveness and closure the we (the Masters) routinely provide for our slaves when they
are in distress?
Sir Stephen
briefly discusses personal experiences in seeking to recover from missteps
and will leave most of the available time open for sharing from all the participants.
Care and Maintenance of M/s Relationships
They present
an overview of their personal histories and relationship and then present
their opinions about how to build, care for, and maintain M/s relationships.
The importance
of clarity in the definitions of such things as:
are discussed.
The use of
protocols, rules, rituals and ceremonies as focal points for Masters and slave
are covered.
Audience
participation is encouraged as a list of those aspects which contribute positively
to our M/s relationships is developed. Likewise, a list of impediments
is also created with the participation of the audience.
A workbook
is distributed for participants’ future reference and use.
This Workshop
is open to all.
Creating the Construct
It falls
to the Masters to create the structures in which both the Master and the slave(s)
will have the opportunity to fulfill their deepest desires. As we turn our hands to this task we frequently
discover that there is no single specific tradition of consensual Master/slave
relationships that we can draw upon. So, we turn to what we know…some of what we
know is drawn from history and the facts of history…some is drawn from our
own personal life experience…and some is drawn from fictional or fantasy elements
that have affected us in a profound way.
It could
be said that in our lifestyle we visualize the most powerful fantasies and
instill them with life. We act out
scenes in dungeons. We create scene
names and lifestyle identities for ourselves.
We endeavor to create consensual M/s Relationships that reflect our
own personal understanding of what it means to be Masters and slaves in ways
that have little kinship with the non-consensual slavery of history.
In this Workshop
Sir Stephen and slave catherine explore the notion
that from this mix of experience, fact, fiction, and fantasy emerges a new
reality, a unique reality that has a far greater strength than we could have
imagined when we began our journey.
This Workshop
is open to all.
Discipline, Correction, Punishment,
and Atonement
New Workshop
– a work in progress - description T/C
Milestones for Masters
Presented
by Sir Stephen
This Workshop
explores the notion that while each Master/slave relationship is unique, each
also contains elements that we experience in common.
Can we identify
those areas of commonality? If we can,
is there any benefit to be derived from having done so? Many Masters, both new and experienced, have
been heard to wonder – “Am I doing this right?”
Having identified that which is typically common to our joint experience
can we then use this information to provide markers along the path of Mastery
that help the newcomer find their footing as well as assist experienced Masters
in identifying aspects of their roles and responsibilities that might benefit
from additional attention?
The Workshop
will address these questions and is designed to encourage discussion and audience
participation is welcome.
The Workshop
is open to all
Power, Authority, Leadership
There are various ways to achieve control over other individuals.
Masters seek to achieve such control and establish themselves as worthy
of the service offered by their slaves.
We often hear about the notion of Total Power Exchange, but is Power the only tool at a Master’s disposal to achieve the
end goals of control and a successful, enduring M/s relationship?
Are there other ways to gain the loyalty and commitment of those
who would serve?
This Workshop will explore the notion that a better understanding
and application of an appropriate balance between Power, Authority and Leadership
can assist in the internal growth of those who strive to be Masters (or those
who strive to improve as Masters) as well as contributing to the success of
the relationships that they create.
This Workshop can be presented in an extended format in combination
with the Workshop entitled The
Master’s Space.
The Workshop will be interactive allowing time for audience participation
and questions.
This Workshop is open to all
Quest for Identity
This talk
touches upon the "fun" of defining who we are in our chosen lifestyle
role. How to fulfill those roles, and the impact Identity has upon Household
structures.
Sir Stephen
discusses his evolving sense of what it has meant to him to be called Master.
The interactive nature of defining identity and context for Household protocols,
rules, structures, and rituals will all be reviewed. Sepcifically, Sir Stephen will explain his role
as "Lord of the Manor," and the development of his Household structure
along the lines of a Victorian Household.
slave catherine discusses the impact this
development has had upon her view of her role as servant.
Includes
time for Q&A…open to all.
Romance in the M/s Dynamic
This workshop
addresses the issue of Romance in the Master slave Dynamic.
There are
some who say that the Master slave dynamic should be devoid of romance. Although it might be natural, almost expected,
for the slave to experience love for the Master, what if the Master develops
similar feelings for the slave? Will
such feelings undermine the ability of the Master to establish and maintain
Household structures and discipline; and thereby erode, perhaps destroy, the
foundation of the M/s dynamic?
Others maintain
that though difficult, it is possible to fulfill both the needs of Master
and slave, and romance, within a single relationship. If such a balance can be achieved, by what means
is it possible?
How does
this issue play out in those Households with more than one Master or more
than one slave?
The Workshop
will employ a combination of personal perspectives; philosophical and historical
perspectives; and audience participation as this matrix of topics is explored.
This Workshop
is open to all.
Spirituality in M/s Relationships
A common
question upon entering our Leather Community is how will I reconcile my spiritual
or religious beliefs within the context of BDSM or a Master slave relationship?
Our experiences,
while uniquely our own, may shed some light upon this question.
slave catherine has long been on a spiritual
journey, beginning with her childhood experiences of Catholicism, and extending
through considerable exploration of alternative religious structures.
She was very
tentative about acknowledging her struggle to reconcile teachings of the spiritual
life that attracts her as powerful as does her vocation as a slave.
Eventually she gathered her courage and began to speak of her journey, her
doubts, her struggle and was rewarded with responses from others struggling
with exactly the same concerns.
She continues
to work diligently on integrating these seemingly disparate elements of her
life.
Sir Stephen
was born into a family of Jewish ancestry, but who viewed Judaism as a secular,
rather than a spiritual, identity. He was happy enough with the philosophy
that God does not bother us, and we do not bother God, for many years.
His spiritual awakening came as part of the process of recovery from addiction
and he continues to struggle with his relationship to a higher power.
Although
he is more comfortable with the idea of the presence of the divine in all
aspects of life, including Master slave relationships, he continues to search
for ways to make the divine presence more meaningful and persistent in his
Household, and his daily life.
Sir Stephen
and slave catherine do not view the goal of this workshop to be for them to
provide the answers to spiritual questions that have remained mysteries for
thousands upon thousands of years, but rather to share their stories, their
struggles, and to provide a structured environment in which to address, with
the participation of the attendees, ways in which we can advance ourselves
on our unique, chosen spiritual paths as we build and nurture our Master slave
relationships.
This Workshop
is open to Masters and slaves.
Sustaining Leadership in Difficult Times
Presented
by Sir Stephen
What happens
when a Master, as Leader of his or her Household, finds that they are on rough
terrain and under fire from the circumstances of life? What happens
when illness strikes, or the economy tanks, or any one of a million unforeseen
situations arise and the Master is suddenly in danger of failing to fulfill
the commitments that he or she has made?
What happens
when due to circumstances beyond his or her control the Master feels uncertain
and fearful? In short…human.
How does
the Master react? How does the slave react? What can be done to
reaffirm the Master’s sense of Leadership and what can be done to reassure
the slave?
And, where
can Masters, a notoriously tight-lipped bunch, be assured of being in a safe
place to share about such issues? In
this Masters only Workshop, Sir Stephen hopes to create such a space and facilitate
and frank and open discussion of such concerns.
This Workshop
is open to Masters only.
The Decision to Be
Our life
history…our personalities…bring us to numerous decisions points in our lives.
I will go on to higher education or the military…I will be an educator
or I will embark upon business career…I will join a religious order or backpack
around the world.
For those
of us drawn to the kinky forms of Power Exchange Relationships there are decision
points as well. Will
I be a Top or a Bottom…a Dominant or a submissive…a Trainer or a pony…a Daddy
a Mommy, or a boy or a girl…etc?
Among those
options is Master and slave. What does it mean when we choose this specific
form of relationship expression, and are there actions that can be taken to
improve the chances of success?
Join us in
discussing these fascinating ramifications of the Decision to Be.
This Workshop
is open to all.
The Empty Vessel
In this Workshop
Sir Stephen and slave catherine will address the
concept of psychological and spiritual preparation that Masters (Dominants)
and slaves (submissives) undergo to prepare themselves to initially take on
their roles in the lifestyle.
They also
explore the question of whether or not this preparation is uniquely suited
only to slaves. And, if not, what are
the benefits of such preparation to both the Masters and the slaves?
Is this a
one-time effort, or is it only the beginning of a process that requires a
commitment to a persistent, on-going effort of self-evaluation; relationship
evaluation; and change, as needed?
Sir Stephen
and slave catherine take the point of view that one does not become “The Empty
Vessel” rather that one strives, continually, to identify that which stands
between us and our goals as Masters and slaves, and empty ourselves of that.
Impediments to progress change with time and circumstances and what
worked yesterday may not work today.
Sir Stephen
and slave catherine take the participants through a series of exercises they
have found useful in their own efforts to create the empty spaces they need
in their own psyches to give room to absorb new experiences, new information
and to remain open to new teachings.
Participants
will be provided with workbooks which they can take home with them and use
as a basis for the continuation of the work begun in the workshop.
There will
be feedback from the audience following each written exercise and the opportunity
for general Q&A at the conclusion of the workshop.
Participants are encouraged to take notes in the notes section provided in the Workbook.
The Master’s Space
For many of us when we approach the concept of Mastery we visualize
the pyramidal model of a relationship, with the Master at the top, fully,
solely empowered and working towards the implementation of his or her will,
and the satisfaction of his or her desires, through the directed efforts of
the slaves below.
But, is this really the mental and emotional space we learn to inhabit
as we move through our journey? What
about the notions of fulfillment for the slave…servant Masters…spirituality…etc?
Do we, as Masters, actually carry out our roles and responsibilities
as Masters solely from the top of the pyramid, and if not, where then is the
space that we inhabit as we endeavor to fulfill ourselves?
This Workshop can be presented in an extended format in combination
with the Workshop entitled Power, Authority,
Leadership.
The Workshop will be interactive allowing time for audience participation
and questions.
This Workshop is open to all.
The Victorian Household as Model for
an M/s Relationship
The Workshop
goals are to broaden our understanding of the Master/slave dynamic and how
models of structured institutions, historical and contemporary, might be of
benefit in our development of our M/s relationships and Households
The workshop
structure includes:
This Workshop
is open to all.
When Comfortable Becomes Uncomfortable
The Maturation of M/s
Relationships
In our M/s
relationships we set ourselves the goal of creating hierarchically structured
relationships that allow those who aspire to be Masters and those who aspire
to be slaves to fulfill themselves. It
takes time, sometimes months, or years, of serious effort to fully realize
that goal and to bring ourselves to the point where the behaviors that we
have defined for ourselves as Masters and as slaves are the automatic, unconscious
process by which we live our daily lives.
There is
great comfort in reaching this goal, but we can also begin to question whether
or not something is lost when that level of comfort is attained. Our comfort can turn to discomfort as questions
begin to bubble up:
Have we lost
the excitement, the edginess, of the M/s relationship that we knew at the
beginning?
Having attained
the goals we set for ourselves, how do we continue to grow our relationships
and ourselves as individuals?
Is “being
comfortable” another way of saying that we have grown stagnant?
We will share
our experiences and our thoughts on these questions, and more, during this
Workshop, and we hope to hear yours as well.
When Intellect and Emotions Collide
We are all
human, and as humans we are blessed with many attributes…some are physical…some
are intellectual…some are spiritual…some are emotional.
M/s relationships
are hierarchical in nature and constructed in a deliberate and conscious fashion…mental
discipline for both the Master and the slave is expected… rules, rituals,
protocols are created…and clearly defined processes for training (inclucing
interpersonal discipline, correction, punishment, and atonement)
are elucidated.
This body
of work, this intellectual edifice, appeals to us as Masters and as slaves,
if not, we must ask why bother to create and/or submit to such structures? This work of the intellect contributes to the
likelihood of success in an M/s relationship.
But so too do the reinforcing bonds of positive, shared emotional experiences.
But what
happens when the intellectual framework is assaulted by powerful emotional
storms. Can we sustain the intellectual
foundation of our relationships while enduring, and hopefully surviving, emotional
upheavals? How do we reconcile and
maintain both our intellectual frameworks and our emotional needs when they
come into conflict?
This Workshop
will explore these questions. It is
open to all.
When Protocols Fail
Protocols
are well established support structure for M/s relationships.
It is my
contention that protocols, and similar structures, are not fixed and immutable
but rather require routine attention and maintenance (i.e. revisions).
However,
can circumstances arise which are so extreme that force us to abandon our
standard practices?
Are there
historical, or contemporary, analogs for us to examine?
If the defining
element for us as Masters and slaves is not in our Protocols, where then does
the defining element lie?
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